So it’s been a crazy few weeks, with quite a few step-changes – and not all of them bad ones.
Life as of Feb 2012
Having rediscovered the pleasure of using my two feet rather than my two wheels to get out and about in the fresh air, it became fairly apparent that my £20 bargain basement SportsDirect skate shoes weren’t really up to the job. Especially not when combined with the dicy mixture of slush puddles and ice that the snow has left in its wake. Trendy they might be, but the top-to-toe mud plastering from falling over kind of detracts from the ‘coolness’ of the look. So I decided to treat myself to a proper pair of walking boots. Waterproof, breathable and comfy and a bargain £20 down from £60 in GoOutdoors (ok so maybe not everything has changed in my psyche!). I’m definitely getting a lot out of my walks these days, they give me something to look forward to, make me feel like a person and not a patient, and really bring home how much beauty there is in the world if you take time to stop and find it.
Getting used to all of these changes isn’t as hard as I thought it would be. I’m almost through my first 2 weeks of the chemo cycle and feel like I have a decent measure of what I can expect. No doubt I’ll get more and more tired and weak as the cycles go on but I really feel like I’ve got away very lightly on the side effects front. I haven’t suffered at all with nausea and apart from the ‘going virtually blind’ blip which fortunately had nothing to do with the chemo drugs themselves, everything else is totally manageable. I’m looking forward to the time when the swelling starts to come down, I no longer look quite so ‘pregnant with alien’ and can stop the steroids but equally I recognise that it’s early days and I have to be patient and let things run their course.
When I was at the Maggie’s centre earlier this week, the lady congratulated me for adopting such a positive attitude and outlook. But the honest truth is – how can I be anything but positive? I’m living in a city with some of the most cutting edge medical facilities around. I have an action plan, a tried and tested course of treatment and all I have to do is take the tablets and trot along to the hospital when the brown envelopes tell me to. And I have friends and family queuing up on my doorstep to entertain me, bringing me some of the most spectacular homemade creations I have ever witnessed. Not to mention the support of superhero Sam, the wind beneath my wings.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. I’m a very lucky girl.